you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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