Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
