highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The air was thick with penises
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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