bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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