The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
