Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
