thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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