were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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