marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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