They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
