Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Let's paint friendship bongs
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
