My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
