he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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