Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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