Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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