Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
