Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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