with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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