And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
