If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
