She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize