It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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