I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just cropdusted the office
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
