Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize