Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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