after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
