my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
