Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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