kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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