Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
