You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
