Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
