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• (516): View more from New York

  I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.

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• (510): View more from California

  no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (805): View more from California

  Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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• (619): View more from California

  We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"

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