I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
