ADVERTISEMENT

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hahahaha

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  make that 40.

  Fav 3 1029 2163

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

  Fav 16 8083 1284

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.

  Fav 44 1916 6518

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head

  Fav 12 5145 1948

  share tweet
  
• 

  Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.

  Fav 23 1186 5632

  share tweet
  

• (213): View more from California

  Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

  Fav 3 2524 1344

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (208): View more from Idaho

  Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

  Fav 4 5024 1289

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

  Fav 25 4993 1438

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Glad to hear you raised your standards

  Fav 8 3192 1079

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.

  Fav 16 2858 938

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

  Fav 8 1716 801

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (206): View more from Washington

  I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  RESPECT THE VODQUILA

  Fav 4 1714 854

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

  Fav 8 998 566

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

  Fav 0 720 598

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

  Fav 0 492 540

  share tweet
  

Randomize