I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"