some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
