I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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