that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
