Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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