so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize