he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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