He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize