think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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