But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
