we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
