They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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