It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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