exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
