I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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