I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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