so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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