OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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