the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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