; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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