The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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