somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
