turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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