I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
