Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
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I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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