The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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