did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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