omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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